There is no success without hardship. Sophocles
I recently had the great honor of being inducted into the Clarkson Athletic Hall of Fame for my exploits on the soccer pitch. While it’s true that there is no success without hardship, what people get wrong about Sophocles’ quote is that you never triumph over hardship on your own. It is natural to focus on and remember the headwinds faced on the road to success. However, what gets lost in that telling of the story are all the people that were there to help you.
The Hardship
Like many success stories, this one starts off with hardship. During a high school football game in my senior year, I suffered a severe knee injury that ended my season. I know it seems a bit odd to start a story about a soccer honor with a football story, but when I was younger, the calendar was defined by what sport was in season. I played football in the fall, basketball in the winter, baseball in the spring, and soccer in the summer.
When it came time to make a choice of what fall sport to play in high school, I decided to play football because I could still play soccer in the Rochester men’s league during the summer. And I was a decent football player. Going into my senior year, my choice of college was going to be based solely upon who gave me a full ride. It was that simple.
When I got injured, to say that my future was in turmoil was a bit of an understatement. The recruiters stopped calling and by the time December rolled around, I had no clue where I was going to college. While making my way around on crutches at a local “college night”, a friend suggested that I check out Clarkson because I was pretty good at math and was thinking about becoming an engineer. So, I did. I applied and was accepted.
Brian Chafin
I had my campus visit that spring which is where I met Coach Brian Chafin on the steps of the athletic building. His first words to me were “I see we have a football player that wants to play soccer”. I explained to him that I could play soccer, I just needed a chance to prove it. My story would have been a short one without Coach Chafin giving me that chance to participate in pre-season training that year. Throughout the rest of my career at Clarkson I had to train hard and perform on the field; however, to be an All-American or get into the Hall of Fame, someone has to believe in you, support you, and advocate for you. Coach Chafin was that person for me. Thank you Coach Chafin for helping me overcome my hardship.
Brian Doran
Brian Doran was my other coach at Clarkson and he was responsible for training me. He came to practice early, stayed late and pushed me to the point of exhaustion. I still have nightmares of him screaming “get up” while he blasted the next shot at me. But Coach Doran was much more than that. He also helped me finish my education at Clarkson. I was the first to go to college in my family and we had missed all the financial aid deadlines. After paying for my freshman year out of pocket, my family was out of cash and I wasn’t going to be able to return for my sophomore year. With one phone call, Coach Doran set up a meeting with the Director of Financial Aid where I learned what we needed to do to apply for financial assistance. And then while in graduate school, Coach Doran gave up his JV head coaching position for me, so I could earn money while getting my MBA. Thank you Coach Doran for helping me overcome my hardship – both on and off the field.
Clarkson University
An interesting part of being accepted into the Hall of Fame, is that I get to accept an individual award for being part of a team that represents a university. During my time at Clarkson, I was fortunate to play with two other All-Americans, Mark Bissonette and Ali Ouarzeddini, as well as many other great teammates that pushed me every day. Clarkson also gave me an opportunity to spend a semester in London during my Junior year. The semester abroad provided a tremendous educational opportunity, enabled me to visit my family in Macedonia for the first time, and allowed me to play soccer in London where I became known as “the Yank that could play”. Thank you to my teammates and the Clarkson community for helping me overcome my hardship.
My Parents
My parents suffered along with me after my injury. To watch their child get injured, go through surgery, and rehabilitation was no doubt greater than any hardship I endured. My mother, who tirelessly took me to practices and games growing up, was always there to lift me up when I needed it. My father was a fixture at my games standing by the goal posts giving me constant feedback on my performance. Coach Doran joked with me at the ceremony that he was a better goalkeeper than I was because he was able to make every save that I made with a cigarette in his mouth! Thank you to my parents for helping me overcome my hardship.
Nameless, Faceless Guy
Finally, there is the guy who tore up my knee. I used to hold a lot of anger towards him, and some mornings – truth be told – I still curse him. However, on that Friday night in 1978, he changed my life trajectory for the better. Thank you to that nameless, faceless guy who was the source of my hardship.
Who knows where I would have ended up had I not been injured so many years ago. What I do know is that there is no place else I would have rather been this past October than accepting the award with my wife and children in the audience. It brought back memories of the headwinds that I had to overcome. More importantly, it made me think of all the people that made it all possible. Sophocles was almost right – there is no success without hardship . . . and there is no triumph over hardship without support from friends and family.
About Leadership Stories
Leadership stories are drawn from the bedtime ritual at our house which usually finished with “Dad tell me a story”. These stories were about our family: Who we are, where we came from, and to share life lessons that were passed on to me. As I told the stories, it became very clear to me the significant impact that they have had on my life, my career, and my leadership style.
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